Things We Learned Today

As far as relationship studies go, it’s an oldie but goodie: the 2008 study that found “handsome men make bad husbands.” That is, of course, how the media framed it for the headlines. The actual study put it a little differently but did help explain several celebrity-couple conundrums.

The study in question is a 2008 University of Tennessee project that tested 82 newlywed couples for facial attractiveness and the quality of their marriages. It determined that couples in which the woman was physically more attractive than the man were happier than couples in which the man was physically more attractive than the woman. As if we didn’t have enough reasons to give Mr. Nice Guy a second chance.

We remembered the study the other night after attending a talk given by a really handsome man, and then we used its findings to console ourselves. It’s OK, we told ourselves, he’d make a terrible husband. (Hopefully, for the sake of his own relationship, the girlfriend he mentioned is Jessica Stam.) 

We conducted our own informal study of the study to discover if people really think it's true and the reactions ranged from, “Um, duh” to “If your husband is more attractive than you, he’s probably gay.”

More raw comments from our female respondents, all of whom, incidentally, are in committed relationships:

Naomi in Seattle: “[The] study makes too many assumptions… You can't ignore nuance, attraction as a personal preference, commitment and love.”

Kelly in Boston: “Let's face it, most hetero guys aren't that hot, and if they are, they typically try and date someone who is even hotter.”

Anne in New York City: “First of all, women are just better looking than men. We generally eat better, groom better and pay more attention to our bodies. So it's not difficult to find a guy who's not as good looking. Most aren't. Secondly, really good-looking guys are BORING. Having a conversation with one is stick-a-fork-in-my-eye excruciating.” 

And from our lone male respondent in New York City: “I resent the implication, I think I would make a great husband!” We suspect he only read the media headline and failed to note the inherent Catch 22 of his situation.

Study or no study, it's important to note what several people pointed out: that what someone finds attractive is more subjective than the study addresses. Beauty is, indeed, in the eye of the beholder.