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The Urban Gardener
Your fire-escape plants mysteriously die; your deli flowers have short shelf lives. It’s time to change all that.

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Things We Learned Today

We admit it. We’re not experts. We’re learning new things all the time. And as we learn them, we’ll share them with you. Garden-, bird- and break-up-related information and how-to stories. For you. Today.

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Weird Science

Jun 7

6/7/2011 11:46 AM

By Mimi

Maybe he dumped you. Maybe you dumped him. Maybe you’re not exactly sure why it all went down the way it did. When relationships end, we all want a reason. Often we don’t get one. Or at least not the one we want. But there may be something of a scientific reason for why things don’t work out: You wound up with the wrong biological personality type.

We went to a talk in June at the Guggenheim Museum in Manhattan given by Helen Fisher, the biological anthropologist who is the Chief Scientific Advisor to the dating site Chemistry.com. In her book, “Why Him, Why Her?,” she divided biological personality types into four different kinds: the Explorer, the Builder, the Negotiator and the Director.

Fisher determined that Explorers and Builders are best matched with other Explorers and Builders, and that Negotiators and Directors are best matched with each other. Which type you are is partially dependent on biology—specifically, how much estrogen and dopamine you have running through your system.

On her site, Fisher supplies a link to the Chemistry.com test to determine your type. The 10-minute exam includes analyzing the way your hand is shaped, picking out people with phony smiles and other questions to determine how traditional or adventuresome you are.

You might be surprised by what you discover. I certainly was. Convinced I would come out an Explorer, after taking the test, I found I was actually a Negotiator, primarily, and an Explorer, secondarily. (I wasn’t upset for too long because I’m in good company—famous Negotiators include Oprah Winfrey, Leo Tolstoy and Charles Darwin.)

The personality types can be applied in broader ways. After attending the lecture, our friend Heidi had a revelation as to why she did not get along with her former boss. The reason? Her boss was a Director and Heidi was an Explorer.

So maybe the reason it all went wrong was because you were with a Builder when you should have been with another Explorer. That’s right, we can finally blame science.

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