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Relationship Repeats

Mar 15

3/15/2011 6:42 AM

By Gigi

We've all seen it. It happens with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances ... Those people who seem to live and relive the same relationship, over and over again. Sort of like the "Groundhog Day" film. They have the same problems, the same fights, the same anguish over why their relationship runs into problems.

This quote sums up what's going on quite nicely: "Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else." - Ivern Ball

In every relationship, there are going to be ups and downs. There's nothing you can do about that. Even the dream relationship you thought would never encounter some rough patches. It's what you do with those rough patches when they do appear that counts.

1. Reality Relationship
When you do have a relationship "bump" try stepping out of your role as partner and viewing the dynamics of what's going on as if you were watching a reality show. You can even go as far as to renaming the main characters (that would be you and your partner) to heighten the effect. Is there something you're doing that is keeping the issue alive or exacerbating it?

2. Referee Rescue
Why not get some sessions with a couple's counselor, therapist or clergyperson to help mediate what's going on? Be sure to do your homework and get some referrals. And on the first visit, be aware if they are helping you find solutions or they're just going to help you rehash what's going on.

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